Untamed Winter Read online

“Are you going to continue to pretend I’m not here?” he asked her.

  When she turned, her cold blue eyes landed on him, appraising him in an almost bored way. Were it not for the change in her scent, he might believe she was completely unaffected by his presence, but her scent didn’t lie. She wanted him, even as she fought that arousal.

  “Was there some reason I should speak to you?” she asked. Her voice was emotionless, unlike when she’d spoken to the tree.

  “Was there some reason you shouldn’t speak to me?” he asked.

  She studied him for a moment before responding. “It seems there are many reasons I shouldn’t speak to you, shifter.” Her voice was softer, not so unaffected this time.

  While her words confirmed she wasn’t human, he still had no clue what she was. His nostrils flared, and he was almost dizzy from her scent. “You smell like fresh rain,” he murmured.

  His female laughed, and it sounded strange, like laughter wasn’t part of her life. That realization bothered him and made him long to be the one who made her laugh.

  “You should laugh more,” he remarked. “For just a moment, I saw joy in your eyes. It’s beautiful.”

  “My eyes?” she asked.

  “Yes, but that’s not what I meant,” he told her. “Your pleasure is a thing of beauty, and I want to see more of it.”

  “Your humans look annoyed with you for coming over here,” she stated, but he didn’t turn to look at them, suspecting she was simply trying to change the subject. “Shouldn’t you go back and make friendly with the ones destroying everything around us?”

  “I’m trying to save all of this,” he argued, annoyed with her implication.

  She studied him for a moment before nodding. “I apologize, shifter. I’m not always good with social interactions. It’s been a very long time since I’ve spoken to anyone. I should have left when you approached.”

  “Why didn’t you?” he asked, moving even closer.

  “I don’t know,” she admitted, looking almost guilty and making him worry she might already be taken. “Call it a moment of weakness. I wanted to be close to you.”

  “Do you already have a male?” he asked, trying not to growl at the thought of her with anyone other than him.

  Looking out into the woods, she shook her head and sighed. “There’s no room for that in my life.” When her gaze returned to his, she looked sad.

  “Run with me when I’m done here.” His words sounded more like a command than a question, probably because he was more comfortable giving orders than making requests. “Please,” he added.

  His female hesitated, and he saw a flash of what looked like longing in her eyes. She wanted to run with him, but there was something holding her back.

  “I shouldn’t,” she told him.

  “But you want to,” he finished for her.

  “Yes, and that’s the biggest betrayal of all,” she explained. “I am here to restore balance, nothing more. There is no room for more in my life.”

  When she started to walk away, Cord’s instincts told him to go after her. She was his one true mate, and the thought of letting her leave was almost too much. Had the humans not been around, he’d have never let her go. Shaking off his need to chase down his mate, Cord reminded himself he could find her again. For now, he just had to be patient and play nice with the humans a little longer.

  Chapter Three

  The decision not to hide her scent had been her one impulsive act in more than a century. It was also selfish and reckless, much more suited to the young girl she’d once been. The girl who’d run wild in the jungle never would have masked her scent. Then again, she also wouldn’t have left the cougar behind. Her mother would consider speaking to the shifter a foolish act of whimsy. Many decades had passed since she’d last seen her mother. For all she knew, her mother might not even be on this continent, so there was no reason to worry about disappointing her.

  With a sigh, Winter wondered if she should mask her scent now and disappear before the male got to her.

  The cougar burst through the tall grass surrounding the meadow before she could do the right thing. A thing of beauty, graceful and powerful, the cougar shifted until the naked male stood before her. His nostrils flared as he scented the air, picking up on her arousal.

  “I was wondering if you’d run,” he mused. “You seemed determined to get away from me earlier, so I thought you’d make it harder for me to find you.”

  Winter found herself smiling at his blunt nature. “Avoiding you would have been the smart thing to do.”

  “I would have found you,” he stated confidently, having no way of knowing she could easily avoid him. “What’s your name?”

  “Winn.” Why she’d given that name, she had no idea. Life with the jaguars was in her past, a very distant memory, and Winn was dead. At least, that’s what she’d believed until earlier that day. The connection to her past felt much stronger when she was around the cougar.

  “I’m Cord,” he introduced himself. “Do you feel it?”

  “Yes,” she answered, never one for games. “It’s why I’m here, doing the one thing I shouldn’t do.”

  “Where do you come from?” he asked, and it seemed like a strange question. She had no accent after her years living in various parts of California. There was no reason to believe she wasn’t from this area.

  “Does it matter?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he replied, scenting the air. “I want to know everything about you, but I can’t figure out what you are. It’s driving me crazy.”

  “I’d think someone who is as comfortable around humans as you are would realize how rude you’re being,” she admonished without censure.

  He gave her a sheepish grin. “Sorry. I’m always less civilized after pretending to be human for hours. It’s hard acting like one of them when they keep destroying my home.”

  “Is that why you do it?” she asked, needing to understand why an alpha shapeshifter would choose to act like a tame kitten around a bunch of humans.

  “What other choice do I have? This is my home. We could move elsewhere, but what happens when humans try to destroy that land? Eventually, we’ll run out of places to run. Also, shifters don’t like it when others invade their territory, and there is a very real possibility any request to enter a new territory would be denied. That would leave us with two options, neither good choices. Either we’d have to keep searching for a place to settle, or we’d have to fight for territory. The latter would be the most likely result.”

  “Shapeshifters are very possessive,” she remarked, sucking in a sharp breath when his eyes darkened. Looking down to avoid seeing his desire, her eyes landed on his erection. Winter knew her cheeks were turning red—a crazy reaction. Sexual attraction was natural, and she’d grown up around shifters. Still, this was different. Cord was attracted to her, and she returned his attraction. The last part was strange. She wasn’t a virgin, but she’d only been with a few mage, and the mage were always more calculating when it came to sex. It was just a physical need to be taken care of, and occasionally, they did it to procreate. There were no heated looks or fevered touches, which was why she was so rarely tempted. Cord wanted her, not just any female to take care of a need.

  “Yes, we are very possessive,” he agreed in a deep, husky voice.

  “I find it hard keeping up with the damage humans are doing to the land here,” she quickly added to change the subject.

  “Are you a wood nymph?”

  Her laugh felt more natural this time. When one spent most of their time alone, one didn’t find many reasons to laugh, but Cord’s question amused her. Of all the creatures connected to the land, he’d picked the one who also needed sex for survival. Wood nymphs were passionate creatures, nothing like the mage. “No, I am definitely not a wood nymph. You would like that, wouldn’t you?” she asked, having no clue where her teasing tone had come from. She was hardly the type to flirt with an attractive male, or to even notice the male was attrac
tive for that matter. His scent called to her, and her jaguar stirred, a part of herself she hadn’t noticed in longer than she could remember. Her mother had always said her jaguar side was a weakness, a volatile part of her nature that could prevent her from doing what was necessary.

  Cord chuckled, moving closer to her. “I’m not sure I could handle it if you were any more sexual.”

  His scent wrapped around her, and her jaguar clawed at the surface. She’d never shifted, and she never would, but for a moment, it almost seemed like her jaguar would tear through the surface of her body and take control. Her jaguar definitely appreciated the male standing before her. As cold as she was, Winter’s blood heated in Cord’s presence, awakening the primal jaguar part of her that had been long dormant. Still, his words had to be a joke.

  “Sexual?” Her lips twitched at his ridiculous insinuation. “I’m not sure anyone’s ever accused me of that.”

  Rather than responding, his mouth claimed hers in a mind-drugging kiss that stole all logic. She allowed his body to guide her down onto the soft earth, feeling the dirt form a bed for them. Winter felt alive for the first time in as long as she could remember. The jaguar clawed at the surface again, insisting she experience this man completely. That part of her wanted to abandon the control she prided herself on, something she could not allow to happen. When he moved to settle between her legs, she pushed at his chest. Instinct told her he’d mark her if she let things continue.

  Cord pulled back, his breathing labored and his face tense. “Sorry. I’m acting like a kitten seeing his first female.”

  “It’s okay,” she assured him. “You stopped when I asked, and I understand shifters are more driven by instinct.”

  “When are you going to tell me what you are?” he pushed. “You know what I am. It seems only fair you tell me what you are.”

  “I’m a mage,” she replied without hesitation, breaking yet another rule by revealing the existence of mage to a near stranger. Even those who knew of the existence of the mage understood very little about what they actually were. Winter had never met anyone who was certain of their origins.

  Based on his look of confusion, he’d never heard of the mage. “There are many types of mage. Mages like me control the forces of nature. I still haven’t reached my full potential. That’s why things are so bad here. I can’t completely control the elements, and my power isn’t enough to restore the balance to your water supply. I’m not sure why I was sent here instead of a more experienced mage.”

  “Who sent you here?” he asked. “Do you have a council who decides were you go? Sorry for sounding so nosy. It’s just that I’ve never heard of the mage before.”

  Winter hesitated, trying to figure out a good way to explain the process. “There are forces that guide us and tell us where to go. I’m pretty sure by guiding me here, it proves those forces aren’t always right.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he soothed, stroking her cheek. “You smell incredible. I’m trying really hard not to scare you off, but it’s hard not acting on my instincts around you.”

  “I’ve been around shifters, so you’re not likely to frighten me,” she assured him.

  “That’s good to know,” he told her, his relief obvious. “I never thought I’d find you.”

  “You were looking for me?” she asked in confusion.

  “You’re my mate,” he replied simply.

  Winter stood quickly, taking several steps back. “Don’t say that. I can’t be your mate.” Despite her own denial, she knew what he’d said was true. Still, she’d hoped she was wrong.

  Cord looked confused by her reaction. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he insisted, getting to his feet and approaching slowly. “You have to feel it, Winn. Your reaction to me is too strong for there to be any other explanation.”

  “You don’t understand,” she began, trying to keep her tone cold but failing. As a young girl, it had been her dream to find her mate. Now, she was angry and confused, both emotions she hadn’t experienced in decades. The tiny hole in her cold façade was getting bigger by the second, and her emotions were rushing out uncontrollably. “I can’t feel this way. I can’t feel anything.”

  While Cord’s eyes still conveyed his worry she’d run at any moment, his lopsided grin held a sweet, playful quality. Winter suspected Cord wasn’t normally playful. She got the impression he acted differently most of the time. She’d studied him while he was surrounded by humans earlier that day, and despite her insinuation that he enjoyed those interactions, she could tell he hadn’t really wanted to be there. There had been no missing the effort he put into acting like a tame lap cat.

  “Don’t you think it’s too late to decide you can’t feel anything?” he asked, moving closer to her—slowly, as if testing her boundaries. “I realize you’re not a shapeshifter, so I understand you don’t feel the same level of connection I do, but you don’t seem like the type to lie to yourself.”

  Winter opened her mouth to argue but quickly closed it. Her jaguar heritage complicated her life. For years, she’d longed to return to that life. Now, she found herself wishing that side of her didn’t exist. Most days, she believed that side of her was gone—a foolish belief. All it had taken was a few minutes in this male’s presence to have her nearly reduced to the foolish girl she’d once been.

  “Just give me some time with you,” Cord murmured. “Please. Don’t run from me, Winn.”

  Winter had no doubt this male was not one to beg for anyone’s attention. He demanded it. Still, he was humbling himself before her, and she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to be with him. The sense of failure about her inability to heal the land was weighing heavily on her and making her wonder if she’d ever be strong enough. What Cord was offering her was a break from those worries. It was wrong to take his offer, wrong to allow her jaguar side any control, but she was desperate for a break from dwelling on her failure.

  Winter nodded and watched as Cord’s muscles relaxed, the tension draining from his body. “I’ll stay for a while, but I can’t stay long.” When he looked ready to argue, she added, “Please don’t make this any harder. I’m confused enough as it is. The right thing to do is to run from you now, but I want more than anything to be close to you.”

  “I won’t push you,” Cord assured her, and she was sure he even believed the words. When he reached out his hand, there was vulnerability in his eyes she suspected was unusual for this male.

  Winter hesitantly put her hand in his, the sensation strange. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had held her hand, but it had been long before she’d been taken from the jaguar clan. After leaving the jaguars, she’d come to realize how much they’d begun to distance themselves from her, possibly preparing her for her lonely future.

  “Walk with me, Winn,” he coaxed, tugging her along beside him.

  “Aren’t you worried we’ll run into humans?” she asked, allowing her eyes to move along Cord’s body—his very impressive body with sleek muscles much like his cougar form. “We are in a human park,” she reminded him.

  “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right. Would you care to walk back to my clothing with me? I tucked my bag under a bush.”

  “Hopefully, no one took it,” she replied, allowing him to guide her along at his side.

  “If that happens, it might be best if you undress, too,” he suggested.

  “Why is that?” she asked.

  “If we’re both naked, they’ll just think we’re nudists,” he explained. “If it’s just me, they might think I’m some kind of pervert trying to abduct you.”

  “That is a rather accurate description, don’t you think?” she teased, shocked by her own desire to do so.

  “I’d much rather convince you to come with me willingly,” he replied, his tone serious.

  She forced a laugh. “Do you always wish for what you can’t have?”

  “You’re my mate,” he stated. “Damn. I’m not going to talk about this anymo
re. Even though you seem to have a good understanding of shifters, you can’t possibly understand what it means to be my mate. It’s best if we just enjoy each other for a little while.”

  “You’re right,” she agreed, feeling bad because she was leading him on. Even though she’d been honest with Cord about what she could offer, he didn’t accept that as the truth. He was still convinced he’d talk her into more. “We should just enjoy the time we have without arguing about when it will end.”

  Cord nodded, and she found herself amused by the effort it seemed to take to keep his mouth shut on the subject.

  “You aren’t used to compromising, are you?” she asked.

  Cord laughed and shook his head. “It’s not something I usually have to do, but I’ll bet I could say the same about you.”

  “I’m not often forced to compromise,” she confessed. “That could be because I don’t spend time around people. Other than my recent disagreement with a family of skunks about their choice of grub hunting territory, I can’t remember the last time I had to negotiate with anyone.”

  Cord chuckled. “You negotiated with a family of skunks?”

  “I tried,” she admitted. “Skunks are not the most reasonable creatures when it comes to grubs.”

  “I would imagine not,” he agreed, his lips twitching.

  “It was the longest conversation I’ve had in many years,” she admitted.

  “How can you live such a lonely life?” he asked.

  Being a shapeshifter made it harder for Cord to understand her solitary nature. Shapeshifters needed their clan, and it hurt to be away from them. Winter fought back the unwelcome rush of emotions brought to the surface by the reminder of how much it had hurt to leave her clan. Those memories had no place in her life, but it was hard to keep them in the past when she was overwhelmed with Cord’s presence. In a different life, she could have experienced great passion with this man. Even knowing it was wrong, she was tempted to give in and experience true passion just once before she had to walk away. The problem with that plan was she wasn’t convinced she’d be able to walk away.