Rock & Regrets Read online

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

  Chapter 79

  Chapter 80

  Chapter 81

  Epilogue

  Rock &

  Regrets

  A Reckless Release novel by

  Cassandra Lawson

  Copyright ©2018 Cassandra Lawson

  All Rights Reserved

  Cover designed by Desiree DeOrto

  Editing by Kim Ginsberg

  This book is a work of fiction. All characters and events are creations of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental.

  The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of a copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by federal law enforcement agencies and is punishable by up to five years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

  Also by Cassandra Lawson

  Love Without Batteries Series

  Dirty at 30

  Naughty at 30

  Sultry at 30

  Moon Virus Series

  Raven’s Blood

  Embrace the Heat

  Seducing Death

  Shattered Restraint

  Impulsive Destiny

  Untamed Winter

  Psy-Vamp Series

  Vampires and Vixens

  Safe Hex With a Vampire

  Vampires Prefer Blondes

  The Vampire Will See You Now

  Wanton with a Vampire

  Vampire in Geek’s Clothing

  Wicked Crazy Vampire Love

  Reckless Release Series

  Rocking Standby

  Spells That Bind Series

  Sinfully Spellbound

  Shamelessly Spellbound

  Seductively Spellbound

  Undeniably Hellbound

  Acknowledgments

  I truly appreciate the support I receive with each book. First, I want to thank my amazing beta readers, Ria, Kari, and Levenia, for reading and critiquing each book in its early stages. I also want to thank Christine Stanley of The Hype PR for her support and wonderful marketing skills. Thank you to all the awesome bloggers who help me get the word out about my books. Finally, I could not do any of this without the love and support of my family.

  Prologue

  Piper

  I couldn’t believe I was in Austin’s bed. I’d had a crush on him for years, and two weeks ago, I’d finally worked up the nerve to tell him how I felt. That talk hadn’t gone the way I’d hoped. Though we were only two years apart, Austin had called me a child. I was sixteen years old—hardly a child.

  Everything had changed when he’d called me upset. I’d been the one he’d called when something big was bothering him. Austin had needed me, and not just as a friend. I didn’t know what had upset him so much, but I’d been the one to offer him comfort when he needed it most. There was still a lot we needed to discuss when he woke up—like how we were going to handle his plans to move to Los Angeles. Since I’d graduated early, I could go with him. We just needed to convince my parents. My dad wouldn’t be happy about me moving away with Austin, but he’d get over it. I loved Austin. True love was something my parents understood.

  Looking over, I watched Austin sleep. His blond hair was getting longer. When I’d come to help my dad a few weeks ago, I’d heard Austin’s father yelling at him to get it cut. I liked it longer. The previous night, I’d run my fingers through his soft hair for the first of many times. Everything seemed perfect.

  His blue eyes opened, and he looked confused.

  “Fuck me,” Austin muttered before closing his eyes and rolling onto his back.

  I frowned. That definitely wasn’t the reaction I’d been hoping for. “Good morning,” I said nervously.

  Austin looked over at me and sighed before ripping my heart out with four simple words. “This was a mistake.”

  I nearly gasped from the pain.

  “Are you saying that because of our age difference?” I asked.

  My parents were also two years apart. They’d married when my mom was my age, after she’d gotten pregnant with me. It wasn’t the ideal way to start a marriage, but they were still together.

  “That’s not it.” He climbed out of bed and put on a pair of shorts that were lying on the floor. With his back to me, he ran both hands through his hair and tugged on the ends. “I wish I’d never seen my dad with your mom.”

  “My mom?” I asked softly. There could be an innocent explanation. My mom handled the business end of my dad’s company. Austin’s dad might have been signing a new contract or making changes to his existing contract. There were plenty of reasons for him to be with my mom, but Austin’s anger didn’t fit with an innocent explanation. “Why was your dad with my mom?”

  When Austin turned toward me, his eyes were filled with rage. “He was fucking her, just like his other whores.” He spat out the words before letting out a frustrated breath. “That’s how we ended up like this.”

  “No.” The word was barely a whisper. My throat was tight with the effort to hold back my sobs. He’d slept with me because he thought my mom was sleeping with his dad. Pain mixed with anger, and I latched on to anger. Anger I could handle. He was wrong about my mom. How dare Austin say something like that about her? My parents had a great marriage.

  I sat up in bed with the sheet clutched to my chest. “You’re lying.”

  “It’s the truth,” he argued. “I wish it wasn’t. Fuck my life. I wish you hadn’t shown up in that dress two weeks ago. If I hadn’t seen your mom with my dad. If only you hadn’t told me how you felt.”

  “You’re blaming me for what happened?” I demanded.

  “You think I’
m blaming you?” he asked. “I fucked this up. I was so pissed, I brought you back here and treated you like a whore. My father fucks your mother, I fuck you. You’re the only innocent person in this whole messed up scenario.”

  Stupid! I’d been stupid for thinking Austin was worthy of my love. My nails dug into the palms of my hands as I struggled to get my rage under control. I wanted to scream and throw something at Austin. Tears burned the backs of my eyes, but I would not cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve my tears.

  “Turn around, please,” I whispered.

  Austin opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it and turned his back to me. I climbed out of bed and frantically searched for my discarded clothes. I quickly dressed and hurried toward the door.

  Austin’s hand landed on the door before I could open it. “We need to talk, Button.”

  “Don’t call me that,” I ground out. For years, I’d loved it when Austin called me by my last name. It had started when I was eight. Now, the nickname seemed more like a condescension.

  After letting out a sigh, he continued. “We need to talk about what happened.”

  “No,” I replied. “We aren’t going to talk about it. In fact, I hope we never talk again.”

  “Button.” His voice was ragged.

  “Don’t!” I snapped. “I’m going home.”

  “I’ll drive you home,” he insisted.

  “No. I’d rather walk,” was my angry response. “Or better yet, I’ll whore myself for a ride. I already whored myself to you for the ride here.”

  “Shit,” he muttered. “Listen, Button—”

  “Don’t fucking call me that!” I shouted before turning to shove him. “You made your point. Leave me the hell alone!” Throwing the door open, I raced down the hall and out of the house. I heard Austin’s shouts behind me, but I didn’t stop. Over the next few weeks, I ignored his calls and deleted his messages without listening to them, until he finally stopped calling. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed when he gave up on me. In the end, it didn’t matter. Austin was a mistake, but I’d learn from this mistake. No man would ever use me again.

  Chapter 1

  Austin

  Fourteen Years Later

  “This is going to be a total cluster-fuck,” Xander muttered as we set up to do the soundcheck for the show.

  I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but I’m not a very good liar. We were performing for opening night at Euphoria in San Francisco. The owner’s sister was engaged to my buddy, Gage, the lead guitarist. Gage’s fiancée, Bentley, had also been heavily involved in the planning of the club.

  Euphoria’s opening night had been scheduled to coincide with a break in our tour so we could perform. We were only in the Bay Area for a couple more weeks, and then we needed to be in Boston. The club looked great, and I was certain the opening would go off without a hitch. Nothing about the club itself had my bandmates edgy. They were worried about how I’d interact with the manager of the club, Piper Button.

  She’d avoided me each time we’d come in to discuss details for the show. I wasn’t certain if she was intentionally avoiding me, or if the owner, Mercy, was trying to keep us apart to prevent any drama. I should stay away from Piper. Whenever I was around her, I acted like a complete dick.

  It hadn’t always been that way. I’d first met Piper when she was eight and I was ten. I’d known her for twenty-two years. Her father had started working for my family a few months before we met. Piper had come to work with him over the summer. She’d been a gangly girl with red hair, green eyes, and a contagious smile. Even though she’d been too young to hang out with me, I’d still let her. She’d been different from most kids, too smart for her own good. At the time, she’d been only one grade behind me, having skipped a grade. Piper was brilliant.

  Everything was fine until she stopped being a gangly girl. More accurately, everything was fine until she made me realize she was no longer a gangly girl. At sixteen, she’d shown up at my room and confessed her feelings. Before that night, I would have laughed at the possibility of seeing Piper as anything more than a kid. In a green dress that hugged her curves, she’d been far too much temptation. I’d been planning to move to LA soon, and I had no business getting involved with her, so I’d called her a child and sent her away. Harsh? Yes, but sending her away had been the right thing to do.

  If only my history with Piper had ended there, we might have remained friends. I’d hurt her, but she’d still liked me. I’d played this mistake over in my head countless times. After using her, I’d insulted her. If there was an asshole of the year award, I would have won, hands down. I’d left her several messages apologizing, but Piper wasn’t interested in forgiving me, not that I blamed her.

  Things had only gotten worse when I’d finally seen her again. She’d been dressed in a leather skirt that barely covered her ass. I’d been pissed to see so many guys checking her out. Threatening to spank her in the middle of a club hadn’t improved matters between us. I seemed incapable of acting like anything less than a total dick when she was around.

  “Earth to Austin,” Harley said, waving a hand in front of my face to get my attention.

  “Sorry.” I shook my head to clear it before continuing. “My mind wandered.”

  “We all know where your mind wandered to,” Gage chimed in. “You need to talk to her.”

  “Don’t you think I’ve tried?” I asked as I sat behind my kit so we could do our soundcheck.

  “Not hard enough,” Harley accused. Since she’d become friends with Piper, she often gave me the evil eye when this topic came up. Harley might have been my friend first, but that didn’t mean she was going to forgive me for being an asshole to Piper.

  Still, I had to ask, “Aren’t you supposed to be my friend?”

  “I am your friend,” Harley insisted. “That’s why I’m not telling you to leave Piper the fuck alone. You really screwed up with her, and I don’t blame her for being pissed at you.”

  “She’s right,” Xander agreed as he took his place at the mic. “Piper has good reason to hate you.”

  “You hate yourself because of what happened,” Gage added. “You wouldn’t be the rebound guy if you hadn’t messed up so bad with Piper.”

  “Low blow,” I accused. There were times I regretted my drunken confession to my friends. The rebound guy was a title some fan groups had given me a few years back when Reckless Release was gaining popularity. I only got involved with women getting over recent breakups. Women sought me out for that reason. After I’d told Gage and Xander about my history with Piper, they’d concluded that guilt over hurting her was preventing me from getting involved with anyone else.

  “It’s the truth,” Harley argued. “You hate yourself for breaking Piper’s young heart.”

  “You’re also still into her,” Xander remarked. “Not as into her as you’d like to be,” he added with a snicker.

  “Fuck you all,” I grumbled. There were times when I hated my friends for knowing me so well. “What’s your point with all this?”

  “You need to talk to her and work this shit out,” Harley replied. “I need to get this tattooed on your hand so I don’t have to keep repeating myself.”

  “She’s right,” Gage agreed. “Not about the tattoo, but about you needing to work this out.”

  “Woo the panties off that hot little redhead,” was Xander’s suggestion.

  “No!” Gage and Harley said in unison.

  “Do not even think about seducing her,” Harley warned.

  “Why not?” Xander asked.

  “I already fucked up her life enough,” I reminded Xander. She also wasn’t available.

  “Fucked up her life?” Harley asked with a laugh. “Her life hardly seems fucked up.”

  “Fine,” I agreed. “I already hurt her enough. I totally screwed up where Piper is concerned.”

  “People screw up all the time,” Xander argued. “Make it up to her.”

  “As a friend,” G
age added. “Austin should just be her friend.”

  “I should leave her alone,” I muttered.

  Thankfully, the woman handling sound was ready for us, so there was no more time to discuss Piper. After we finished soundcheck, I scanned the room. She was there, watching us. Her long black dress hugged her curves to perfection. The neckline was modest, but it did nothing to distract from her full breasts. My eyes moved down her body, and I smiled when I noticed the white bunny slippers on her feet.

  When she turned to walk away, I followed her.

  “Austin,” Harley hissed as I passed, but I ignored her. She was probably afraid I was going to act like an ass again.

  “Nice shoes,” I called out to Piper.

  Rather than turning to glare at me, she kicked one up behind her and smiled at me over her shoulder. “It’s the latest in clubwear.”

  That smile hit me hard, and all the blood raced from my brain straight to my dick. Fuck me, she was stunning. I’d bet my friends were holding their breaths, just waiting for me to screw up. I reminded myself that I could have a civil conversation with Piper.

  Her smile slipped, probably because I was staring at her like a creepy pervert. She turned to face me with a more forced smile. “Do you guys have everything you need for tonight?”

  “Yeah, we’re good,” I assured her. “Does this mean you’re not going to call me an asshole today?”

  “I owe Mercy a lot for giving me this chance,” she began. “I’m not about to screw up her opening night. We can both behave like professionals, right?”

  “Sure,” I replied, a little disappointed that she was only being nice to me because of Mercy. Then, an idea came to me. “Does this mean you’ll also be nice to me when I’m a customer here?”

  “I’m sure you have other places to go for a drink,” she replied. “I need to get to work. There is still plenty to do before tonight.”

  On those words, she turned and walked away.

  I was grinning like an idiot when I returned to my band.

  “Can I take it by your smile that Piper has forgiven you?” Gage asked.

  “Not yet,” I replied.

  “Then why are you smiling?” Harley asked.

  “I just discovered a great new place to hang out,” I replied.