Naughty at 30 (Love Without Batteries #2) Read online

  BROOK: MissFixIt.

  ME: This must be my day for strange conversations. Care to tell me what you’re talking about?

  BROOK: I found the perfect woman for you on your dating site.

  ME: Are you looking at women’s profiles to find one I’ll like?

  BROOK: Just check her out. She’s exactly what you’ve been looking for.

  ME: Thanks. I’ll check. Love you.

  BROOK: Love you, too.

  Opening the site up again, I typed in the profile name to search for MissFixIt and nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw the hot blonde standing in front of an impressive workbench with a tool belt around her hips. The picture made it obvious this woman liked to work with her hands, and she didn’t need a man to change a light bulb for her. Her well-worn jeans and tight black t-shirt hugged her sexy curves, making my dick throb with arousal. She was hot as fuck, and she was also my best friend’s older sister, a fact Brook already knew.

  The last time I’d seen Chelsea, she’d been so drunk, she’d thought my name was Jake. Since I’m not the type to get turned on by intoxicated women, I’d been in no way interested. There had been this part of me that had assumed my adolescent crush on her was over when I’d had no reaction to her that night, but seeing this picture proved I was far from over Chelsea. I was definitely going to spend more time around MissFixIt.

  Chapter Three

  Chelsea

  I was about ready to turn my phone off and shut down my online dating account after only a couple of days. So far, my profile had gotten a lot of attention, but I had no intention of going out with any of the guys who’d expressed interest in meeting me. At least, Brook and Delaney had been right about it being easier for me to weed out the guys I didn’t want to date this way, which seemed to be all guys.

  My profile picture had been carefully staged with the intention of proving I could take care of myself. Instead of attracting guys I’d consider dating, I was still a magnet for guys who thought I was helpless. The guy I was currently chatting with on the dating site was a perfect example of the type of man I wanted to avoid. What annoyed me most was this one had seemed promising at first. We’d been having a nice conversation about the joys and struggles of being self-employed, and I’d begun to wonder if he might be worth meeting in person. That was definitely not going to happen. His last message was enough to make me consider violence.

  THOR21: It was pretty messed up that you took your ex-husband’s tools in the divorce. I understand being upset when you’re getting a divorce. I was angry with my ex-wife, but I didn’t take her makeup in our divorce.

  I stared at his words for a long moment, trying to decide if he was joking or not, before coming to the conclusion it had to be a joke. Only it didn’t sound like a joke. It was hard to judge people’s tone in writing, so I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.

  MISSFIXIT: Why would you assume those are my ex-husband’s tools?

  THOR21: Your profile says you’re divorced. Like I said, I understand getting mad during a divorce, but tools are expensive.

  I waited, assuming he had to have more of an explanation.

  THOR21: I’m not trying to sound like an asshole here. You’re really hot, so I can see why the judge would give you everything in a divorce. How about if I come over and show you how to use some of those tools? That way they won’t just be props for your pictures. I’m sure you can find a way to thank me.

  MISSFIXIT: Thank you, but I’m not interested.

  THOR21: Whatever. Let me know if you change your mind.

  I’d just set my phone down when a new chat request popped up, and I was unable to bite back my sigh of frustration. If another asshole treated me like a dumb blonde who needed a big strong man to take care of her, I was definitely going to lose it. If this chat turned out nearly as bad as the last, I was either closing my online dating account, or changing my profile to say I was seeking a woman and giving up on men all together. Gritting my teeth, I opened the chat window.

  LUKE2160: What kind of panties do you have on under those jeans?

  Recognizing the profile picture right away, I groaned from frustration and arousal. Lucas Robinson was my younger brother’s best friend, and he’d always been an annoying pain in the ass. It had gotten even worse when he’d come home from college looking super hot. Six foot two, with blond hair, blue eyes, and a body that probably looked even better without clothes, Lucas confused me. The confusion had begun the night he’d driven me home from Brook’s when I was so drunk I’d thought he was a hot guy named Jake. Finding out that the hot guy in question was actually the annoying kid who’d stolen my panties when I was a teen, seemed to have no impact on my subconscious because I’d had more than one inappropriate dream about him since that day. Despite all that, I was relieved it was him. Lucas was safe, and he wouldn’t treat me like I was helpless. He also wasn’t flirting with me, just messing with me.

  MISSFIXIT: Why? Are you planning to steal them?

  LUKE2160: How else am I supposed to make a slingshot? Your panties always make the best slingshots.

  I laughed at his comeback, and even though it felt weird talking to Lucas on the dating site, it was still the most relaxed conversation I’d had so far.

  MISSFIXIT: That’s a relief. I was worried you were going to do something kinky with my panties.

  LUKE2160: Kinky? What kind of kinky things do you think I do with panties?

  MISSFIXIT: I just figured you might have moved past slingshots and onto adult games with stolen panties.

  LUKE2160: Games like using them to tie you to my bed so I can bring you to the edge over and over again until you beg me to let you come?

  I stared at Lucas’ words, unable to decide how to respond. He was teasing me. That was the only explanation. Unfortunately, my body didn’t seem to understand that Lucas wasn’t serious, and I was more than a little tempted to abandon our chat to head into my bedroom where my favorite vibrator could help me deal with the overwhelming arousal I was suddenly dealing with. No! I needed to stop this before it went too far. I could not be attracted to Lucas Robinson. The dreams were bad enough without fantasizing about him when I was awake.

  LUKE2160: You still there, Chels?

  MISSFIXIT: I didn’t know you had a profile on this dating site.

  LUKE2160: I signed up when I moved back out here. No luck so far. How about you?

  MISSFIXIT: I just had a guy tell me how wrong it was that I took Jason’s tools in the divorce.

  LUKE2160: WTF? I doubt your dumbass ex knows which end of a hammer to hold.

  MISSFIXIT: Guys seem to think I’m helpless. This one even offered to come over and show me how to use all Jason’s tools.

  LUKE2160: Sorry you’ve had to deal with so many idiots.

  MISSFIXIT: I guess guys just don’t like women who know the difference between a circular saw and a jigsaw.

  LUKE2160: I don’t get that. A woman who knows her way around power tools is sexy as fuck.

  That last comment made me pause, and I suddenly wondered if he was flirting with me, trying to throw me off-balance, or if he was simply teasing me like he had when we were kids. Granted, this teasing was much more risqué, but Lucas was also an adult now. Either way, I was feeling tingly and more than a little dazed. I could flirt with him and see where things went, which could easily end up being awkward. Lucas was near the top of my list of guys I couldn’t sleep with, despite what my body seemed to think.

  There would be no sex with Lucas. I decided to repeat that to myself several times since I clearly needed the reminder. It was definitely time to get things back on safer ground and then find an excuse to end the chat without sounding like I was running from him.

  MISSFIXIT: How is online dating working out for you? Any luck finding your perfect girl? Or do they all run for the hills when they find out about your obsession with women’s panties?

  LUKE2160: Sadly, I haven’t met one whose panties I want to steal yet. Have a drink with me
, Chels.

  It wasn’t a question, and I wasn’t sure what to say in response. Have a drink with Lucas? That seemed like a very bad idea. Then I reminded myself that I might be the only one whose hormones had gone crazy, and this could simply be two people with a sibling-like bond meeting up to talk about their experiences with online dating and catch up with each other. There was no reason to assume Lucas considered it more than just friends getting together. I had drinks with my friends all the time. I could do this, and it would help me get past the crazy lust and, hopefully, put an end to the dreams. Once I spent some sober time around Lucas, I’d realize that, attractive or not, he wasn’t someone for me to lust after. I’d stick to something without alcohol, or maybe just have one drink.

  MISSFIXIT: Sure. We can compare notes about online dating. I’m new to all this, so maybe you can give me some tips to avoid the crazies and find the right guy. Did you want to meet tonight?

  I was proud of my answer; it was casual yet friendly. Realizing I’d put more thought into my responses to Lucas than any other guy on the dating site made me frown, but I decided to shake off any concerns I had. There was a long delay before Lucas responded.

  LUKE2160: I’ll pick you up in thirty minutes.

  MISSFIXIT: There’s no reason for you to pick me up. Just tell me where to meet you.

  LUKE2160: Your front door.

  “What the hell?” I grumbled, ready to type out a response that would make it clear I did not like having my friends order me around. I would not put up with his arrogance. It annoyed me even more when the site suddenly listed Luke2160 as offline so I couldn’t respond to him.

  Ugh! I hated bossy men. Sadly, my stupid body hadn’t gotten that memo, and it was doing the happy dance because we were going to see Lucas. I was in desperate need of a shower and an orgasm to take the edge off before Lucas arrived. With only thirty minutes to get ready, it seemed I’d have to multi-task in the shower. Thankfully, I’d recently installed the perfect rotating showerhead for the job.

  Chapter Four

  Luke

  After finding out about Chelsea’s dating profile, I’d debated on how to approach her for a couple of days, knowing I needed to be careful how I handled things. If she knew I was coming on to her, she’d run. There was no getting around the fact that she didn’t see me as more than the annoying kid who’d messed with her when she was a teen.

  In my defense, I’d had a huge crush on her. As I’d gotten older, that crush had gotten worse—like unable to keep my dick from standing at attention whenever I thought about her. I’d been somewhat obsessed with her for years, and I’d only begun to get over it when she’d kicked me out of her wedding for telling her Jason was a dickhead who didn’t deserve her. It was true, but Chels had still called me a child and argued that I didn’t know shit about relationships. Since I’d been fourteen at the time, she’d been right on both counts, but I’d still been right about Jason being a dick who didn’t deserve her. That asshole had fucked with her self-confidence big time from what Ty had told me. Chelsea hadn’t even considered dating in the six years since she’d divorced Jason. Now that she was willing to date, I planned to be the man in her life—the only man in her life.

  My plan was to flirt with her while keeping it light enough to avoid scaring her off. While I was better with women now, I was still pretty nerdy and not exactly good at the art of flirting, having a tendency to say the wrong thing more often than not. Threatening to tie Chelsea to the bed with her panties hadn’t been part of my plan, and I was damn lucky she hadn’t ended the chat and blocked my profile from contacting her.

  That slip-up on my part had created another problem, because now I couldn’t get that fantasy out of my mind. I’d probably need several of her panties, but I’d been thinking of ways to make ropes from her panties the entire drive to Chelsea’s house, which was why I was doing some deep breathing exercises before climbing out of the car to pick her up. I needed to get my erection under control.

  Once Excalibur finally got the message that his services weren’t needed, I walked up to Chelsea’s door and rang the bell. Chelsea answered the door, looking irritated and hot as fuck, which naturally grabbed Excalibur’s attention. She was dressed in dark jeans and a green V-neck t-shirt that gave me a great view of her full breasts. Her blonde hair framed her beautiful face, and she’d put some shiny pink lipstick on her puffy lips. I was finding it really difficult to resist the temptation to kiss her until that pink stuff was off her mouth, and I might have given in to the temptation if I didn’t think Chelsea would punch me in the balls for trying.

  “I could have driven myself,” she grumbled. “If we’re going to hang out, you need to understand up front that I don’t put up with bossy men. You know, I don’t remember you being this pushy, Lucas.”

  “Call me Luke,” I told her.

  One perfectly arched eyebrow rose in challenge. “Did I not just tell you I won’t put up with being pushed around?”

  “Listen, Chels,” I began patiently. “I get that you don’t usually call people by their nicknames, but I’m asking for a reason. Please, call me Luke.”

  She hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Why is this so important to you?”

  “I promise to tell you another time,” I assured her. “Now, let’s go get that drink.”

  When she hesitated, I half-wished she’d refuse or mouth off to me because her attitude turned me on. While I knew getting more turned on just meant my case of blue balls was going to be even worse later, it was worth it to see her sexy, angry face.

  Chelsea nodded. “All right,” she agreed. “I promise to try to call you Luke, if you promise not to steal my panties.”

  I chuckled and shook my head. “I’m a grown man. What makes you think I’d steal your panties? I’m twenty-four years old, not twelve.”

  “Are you refusing to promise not to steal my panties?” she asked, as I led her to the car.

  That was a promise I had no intention of making after my fantasy about tying her up with her own panties, but I decided to keep that to myself.

  “I have no interest in making a slingshot with your panties,” I assured her.

  Chapter Five

  Chelsea

  When Lucas had asked me to call him Luke, I’d been tempted to refuse. My reasoning made very little sense even to me, but it was just easier to remember he was the same kid who’d stolen my panties when I was calling him Lucas. In all my naughty dreams, I called him Luke—I had called him Luke in a lot of dreams recently. Those dreams had all started the night Luke had driven me home from Brook’s because I’d been far too drunk to make it there on my own. I’d been drunk enough to believe Luke was a sexy stranger named Jake until Brook had revealed my fantasy lover’s true identity. Knowing his identity hadn’t stopped me from fantasizing about him; it had just made me feel somewhat guilty after every sex dream I had about Luke.

  Being in a car with him was making it even harder to keep my dirty thoughts at bay. When I’d opened the door, it had been a real struggle to keep myself from commenting on how good he looked. Luke was probably a foot taller than me with broad shoulders and a narrow waist. I’d always had a thing for tall guys, but I’d never been with one as tall as Luke. The beard he’d grown while away at college looked really good on him, and I couldn’t help wondering how it would feel against my skin, especially my more sensitive skin. His scent was clean, and I was sure he wasn’t wearing any cologne, which I really liked. I preferred men who were more natural. Luke also looked fantastic in jeans. It had been impossible to resist the temptation to check out his butt when he’d walked around to the other side of his car.

  “How are you enjoying teaching?” I asked, hoping to take my mind off of how good Luke looked.

  “So far, I really enjoy it,” he replied with a grin. “Naturally, I have some kids who are a pain, but I think I’m getting through to most of them. A few of the ones who are a pain in the ass seem really nice, but you know how kids can be at
that age. Some act up because they’re trying to impress their friends, others are bored, and then there are some who just want the attention. They’re not bad kids.”

  “Just as long as none of them are perverted panty thieves,” I teased. “Those guys are the worst.”

  Luke chuckled. “You are never going to forgive me for that, are you?”

  “Probably not,” I told him. “I guess I should just be grateful you didn’t steal any of my panties when you dropped me off at home. That’s the only reason I wasn’t mad when I found out you’d looked in the Victoria’s Secret bag on my coffee table.”

  “How’d you know?” Luke asked, sounding genuinely surprised. “Did Ty tell you?”

  “You weren’t very good at putting them back under the tissue paper,” I pointed out. The tissue had been somewhat bunched up, and I’d known right away Luke had checked out my panty purchase. That realization had caused some confusion for me. On the one hand, it was pretty creepy having a grown man looking at my panties. On the other hand, it had made me think of his hands on my panties while I was wearing them, which was a very hot image, even if it was one I didn’t want to have stuck in my brain.

  No fantasizing about Lucas Robinson! I reminded myself. I was definitely not going to think about his fingers trailing over the lace on the thong I was wearing before his long fingers slid under the edge. That mental image almost made me whimper with need.

  “What made you decide to teach,” I asked to get my mind off sex, hoping he wouldn’t notice how strained my voice sounded. I’d never thought of Luke as a teacher, and his decision had been sudden, from what my brother had told me.